All unacceptable behaviors are signs of challenges to my authority so should be responded to in the same way.
Article Series
False Assumption 2: Challenging My Authority
Challenges to my authority are avoidable and if they do occur, it is a sure sign that I am “losing the battle” and am falling short of being a good parent.
False Assumption 3: Anger Motivates
It is my anger that finally motivates my kids to obey. How often have I heard this one? However, when you stop to think about it, this is a reasonable assumption that kids can make that seems to actually take on a bit of truth when the following pattern develops:
False Assumption 4: Love is Enough
If I just love my kids enough, everything else will fall into place. There was a book written in the early 1970’s I believe, titled, “Love is Not Enough. As the title suggests, the author’s primary objective was to drive home the point that when it comes to parenting, there is more involved, more required of us parents, than to simply love our kids.
False Assumption 5: Yes, but…
I should be able to out, “yes, but” my kids. In all my many years, I have never met a parent who could actually out, “yes, but”, a kid who was determined to get what they wanted.
False Assumption 6: They Won’t be Affected
If my kids don’t seem to be listening, they won’t be affected by what I say about them to others. In my book Parenting With An Attitude, I go into detail describing what I call a child’s sponge-like brain. I suggested the idea that our kids are constantly absorbing into that little sponge, data that comes their way.
False Assumption 7: Kids Must Earn Respect
My kids must earn my respect and it can be lost if they don’t perform, obey, or live up to my expectations. This is another topic that I focus on in my book Parenting with an Attitude, Chapter 2 “Do I respect my kids?”
False Assumption 8: Doing the Opposite will Work
Doing the opposite of what mistakes my parents made with me must be the right way for me to parent my kids. Seldom in life is the extreme opposite of right, automatically wrong. Likewise, seldom is the opposite of good, necessarily bad either.
False Assumption 9: Need Me, Love Me.
If I want my kids to love me, they must need me. It can be easy for us parents to confuse our kids needing us with their loving us.
False Assumption 10: If it Works it Must be Right
If my disciplinary approach works in getting the desired response I want from my kids, then it must be the right approach and ok to use. Parenting by this false assumption can lead to “winning the battle, but losing the war” with our kids.